Salaam alaikum again dear reader.. who ever you may be.
There are some things in life that make me scratch my head and wonder at what Allah(swt) has put forth in my path and why. I try to keep a positive outlook but then there are just times are really really trying and .. make you want to shake your head- at least in my case.. although I have been known to scream, cry and emit random shrieking when things get really crazy.
Such as last week the random hate group that decided to follow me on Twitter.. yes a hate group decided to follow me on Twitter. I was as shocked as you are.. I totally didn’t expect it at all. I guess I am used to more subtle hate or hate acts. So this group then posted a link to a Youtube video of the burning of the Holy Quran. It was at this point I went from shocked- to out right pissed off. I mean – Who do they think they are? Burning a Book? Not just any book but the Holy Qur’an?! SubhannaAllah.
I love books.. it doesn’t matter what is on the inside.. I am a biblophile. I Heart Books!
So I went on a little rampage.. I found that video and tons of other and just started flagging them on Youtube.. You would be surprised how much hate is out there and the reasoning behind it.
So more on the embarrassment that can only come during the holidays.
So to best explain this.. I have to admit.. I am talking with a new person.. who shall be nicknamed Ireland.. for the purpose of this blog. So far.. so good.. MashaAllah -May Allah protect us both from Shaytan and the evil eye- Ameen. What wasn’t cool was my mother and her partner totally talking about our relationship with people.. that to me are casual acquaintances and some strangers I just met today! My mom of course wanting to point out how she is trying to do her Islamic duties as my mom.. but grilling my potential hubby. Lets put this in perspective on how bad it could be: Ok its not as bad as this one woman she met at the first Islamic singles event attended.. who asked was the guy interested in her daughter for the sake of marriage?, Social security Number?, Annual Income? Education Level? and then told him he could only meet with the daughter in the living room with family members present.
For the most part my mom is completely hands off.. but then there are moments like these. Where I just want to go invisible or melt into the floor. Inside I am asking myself.. “Why Allah? Why me?” Good intentions- bad result. I have tried to educated my mom on how the whole Islamic marriage thing works to the point where now she knows enough to be dangerous.. but not enough to be helpful. Yikes!
I have done my best to be a good daughter- Islamically speaking by educating my mom and the dragging her to the first islamic singles event I attend. Boy was that an eye opening experience. Some of these men were so arrogant.. it was sickening- with attitudes like:
” Hi.. my name is … I am a lawyer and you should think I am an excellent catch because I am a lawyer. I would really like to get your number so we can date because this whole Islamic method is really just for my parents benefit.”
or
“Hi.. my name is … I am super good looking but I don’t speak English with no papers and I want to marry someone also super good looking, English speaking convert but with papers.”
or
” Hi.. my name is .. I drive a taxi but I want my wife to be a mechanical engineer not work and stay home and have 10 kids.”
or
“Hi.. my name is.. I am a software engineer. I have been married 2 times already and I am 40. I am seeking a 18 year old virgin with no ambitions at all other than to be a house wife.. I tried the educated woman route and it was too much for me to handle.”
There are plenty more variations that I have encountered besides this. There was one man who a friend of mine met at a singles event.. seemed nice enough and then after spending Muslim Day at Six Flags with him.. he dropped her off at the Amtrak but not before asking her to come to his place to test out their “chemistry.”
This is not to say that the Islamic Singles Event’s don’t have sucess stories and that they don’t provide a much needed service to the Ummah. They do- SubhannaAllah its like an epidemic of unmarried people seeking their better half. Everyone of my girl friends is single and looking- no lie. My friends are educated, professional women, smart, good looking and funny. They all deserve to find the other half of their Deen.
I have also tried the Internet in various forms from Shaadi to Single Muslim to Naseeb.com. Many of my more conservative friends have warned me against this path. I have met all sorts on these websites from the super conservative to the ultra liberal and everything in between.
I swear to Allah the following story is true and that the only thing I altered was the removal of this individuals name and location.
!!!WARNING!!
Do NOT read the following if you are of the faint of heart or super religious.
One such individual was a South Asian brother who was in his middle 30’s, well educated, very nice but had a fetish. If you don’t know what a fetish is.. because some of the Ummah are still innocent let me give you a definition. A fetish is defined by Merriam Webster Dictionary Online as, “an object or bodily part whose real or fantasied presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.”
Well this dear brother had a fetish involving dominating women. At first I didn’t get tipped off during the course of our conversation he was so focused on the whole domination theme. Indeed, once it clicked for me I was in denial. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt folks. Seriously. I was like.. WTF.. so in my twisted sense of humor and morbid curiosity I decided to see how serious this brother was about a woman dominating him.
Warning- if you are faint of heart.. stop reading now.. if your fascinated by this tale -pray do continue on…
So I asked the brother out right,” Do you want your wife to dominate you?” He said “Yes.” I was curious. Was this just a role playing thing that people sometimes do to spice things up or was he like dead serious he basically wanted to be married to a dominatrix? I could tell you how I know about this.. but its just better you make up some fiction about how I have this expansive knowledge base that just happens to include sexual fetishes.
For those who don’t know what a dominatrix is.. Merriam Webster Online kindly defines the word as, “a woman who physically or psychologically dominates her partner in a sadomasochistic encounter.” The word dominate is defined as, “to exert the supreme determining or guiding influence on a( person, place or thing).”
So me being me I asked the clarifying question, ” So how often do you want to be dominated?” This guy answered “All the time.” So I again had to clarify.. ” What do you mean all the time? Like twenty four hours a day? or just at home?” The brother answered,” I preferred to be dominated at home mainly although if I step out of line.. I would love to be punished discreetly if possible in public.”
My jaw just dropped. This guy wasn’t joking. No wonder he had yet to find a Muslim wife!
I had to open my big mouth and ask because inquiring minds want to know.. ” How do you prefer to be dominated?”
Now at this point I could let your imagination dwell on the multitude of possibilities for this answer.
I know however your just dying to know.. just like I was.
Well.. how to do I break this to you? He didn’t just want a woman to call him a ” Naughty Boy” and tie him up to the bed with fuzzy handcuffs and pour honey or chocolate on him either.
No this poor man wanted a woman who would do that but more than that he wanted a woman who would crush his testicles. Yes… even my ovaries.. hurt just thinking about it. This man had a need I wasn’t going to or willing to fill. Its all fun and games until someone wants their balls crushed regularly.
How does this guy think he would have kids after all the ball crushing really?! I want to know.
At this point.. I told the poor man.. I am not the woman for you. My advice was just get married to a woman you like and the pay for it one the side. Plenty of politicians do.. why not the average Muslim guy with a fetish? Seriously somethings are just better outsourced 🙂
American Muslimahs Musings 