The importance of being there

This past week has been a downer for me.  First mother nature comes calling which kills my prayer and fasting buzz.

Sometimes as a woman you wish you were a Muslim man so inconveniences like Mother Nature’s gift wouldn’t interfere with your worship of Allah.  I can only speak for me but it seriously throws off your daily routine.

I can say though that it sometimes is a respite.  This time its a respite from fasting induced memory loss and fatigue.

But just as it might seem a respite – I feel such a loss for not being able to participate more fully in the last 10 days of Ramadan.

Its like you trained for the Olympics only to get benched by the Coach at the last minute. Sigh.  If I am luck I will get maybe a day or two before Eid back in the Ramadan game.

As for moving towards my departure date to Morocco – I have been trying to schedule a going away party but its proved a difficult task with Labor Day and Eid making it impossible to have a get together next week while juggling work. 😦

So I decided to have a going away/ goodbye  iftar this past Saturday with my Mom and J generously paying for it and attending.

Disappointment for me came when out of 90+ invited only three adults and four kids made it to my going away iftar.  It goes to show that although social media connects us it doesn’t mean you have a meaningful relationship just because you are connected with people via electronic networks.

The people who came – May Allah truly bless them – because it made my evening to know – hey I am still special enough to give up some time for during the last 10 nights of Ramadan.

This iftar was deeply meaningful for me because it was the first time my family had really joined in celebrating Ramadan with me and well it seems my tiny portion of the Muslim community.

It was important to me that it was a positive experience for my family to socialize with my Muslim friends and community.

Alhumdualillah with this small group of friends it was.

Just being there was the most important thing about this moment and this iftar to me.

I am still sad and extremely disappointed by those who chose not to be there this one night – yes there were people I invited out of purely good intent and adab but there are some individuals who in choosing not to be there – well their actions spoke louder than words.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”

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2 thoughts on “The importance of being there

  1. I’m sorry.

    But, it’s not new phenomena from the age of the social network: it’s been going on for decades! For example, when I got married in 1982, nearly everyone I ran into for the 6 months prior to the wedding-right up to a week before, I had so many requests for an invitation. In the end, I gave out over 150 invitations. And this was a small town where I lived-and I’d only been there a couple of years. Nearly every single person I gave an invitation to responded yes, they’d be there. In the end-around a dozen people showed up at the church, less than 20 were at the reception. My mother was FURIOUS! But since then, I have heard loads of similar stories of large gatherings planned, invites sent out, food prepared and too many leftovers distributed. It’s not new and it’s not personal.

    Back then, we didn’t have cell phones and email-and I can understand not letting the hostess know someone couldn’t make it after all. But people just didn’t even seem to TRY to let anyone know! And today, they seem to care even less!

  2. 😦 I was going to be there right up until the moment that my grandmother called me telling me that family I hadn’t seen in over 20 years were in for a couple of hours and were requesting my presence. I agonized over whether to see them or go to your going away event….It is one that even months later I am STILL agonizing over and feel much guilt over.

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