No disrespect to my non Muslim sisters

Dear non Muslim sisters,

This is my open letter to you.  I have to often wonder when I see you in a relationship with a Muslim man. I wonder -do you know what rights you aren’t getting right now?

A Muslim man has the right to marry women of the book.  Meaning a Christian or Jewish woman in addition to a Muslim woman.  Often time I see Muslim men who could marry a woman of the book merely toying with her affections and not giving her the respect she deserves because she doesn’t know any better.

You don’t know that he should marry you instead of just have an emotional and sexual relationship outside the bounds of matrimony.  Perhaps upon reading that sentence you are thinking.. why should I care if he marries me or not before we have a physical relationship?  Its ok.. if things don’t work out we can just both walk away from the relationship.

Maybe its enough that he gives you physical affection and buys you nice things?  Tells you that your pretty or sexy even wearing clothes he would never let his sister leave the house in or would look down on another woman wearing if she didn’t happen to be you?

Drinks and parties the nights away with you, willingly moves and lives with you and yet he never speaks of a future involving marriage?

You never have met his family, childhood friends.. or perhaps you have met only a select few.. who are “liberal” enough to understand  because his family and certain friends would never approve of you or what he is doing by being involved with you.

Because he doesn’t see you as the mother of his children.

Maybe you don’t know what respect he should be showing you.. or perhaps you do but think its old-fashioned?  out dated?  Is chivalry out dated? I don’t think so.

But I do think its unfair to be in a relationship and not fully understand the standards and rules your partner should be adhering to or half way adheres to.

I just don’t want you to be hurt at the end of the day when he leaves you to marry a woman who is Muslim and practicing or divorces you seeking what he wants later.. after you invest time, energy, emotions and maybe even had kids.
So I just want to ask women who date self professed Muslim men – to really research and understand the rules he is playing by.. so you don’t end up getting played.


Your concerned sister


2 thoughts on “No disrespect to my non Muslim sisters

  1. You make some very good points about men, women, and relationships. I agree that men marry women that they respect and women who are sleep with men to get love are misled. However, these are universal truths which have nothing to do with one’s religion. I think your points would be far better received if you left out the labels.

    I think you should be proud of your faith and spread the word of your god — but you’d be more effective if you did so in a more positive matter. Perhaps your other blogs have done so, but I’m not exactly pumped to read them after reading this one.

    1. Thank you for your critics. However if you noticed the label on the blog.. American Muslimah’s Musings.. it implies there in that this is about Islam..and how things relate to it from my perspective. I am not here to spread the word about Islam although I am proud to be a Muslim and a member of the faith. I am here to just put my thoughts out there with regards to Islam and a number of issues that I encounter. So please feel free to read past posts.. and get a better perspective on my motivations for blogging or just ask me a question via my formspring or twitter accounts.

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