Dear non Muslim sisters,
This is my open letter to you. I have to often wonder when I see you in a relationship with a Muslim man. I wonder -do you know what rights you aren’t getting right now?
A Muslim man has the right to marry women of the book. Meaning a Christian or Jewish woman in addition to a Muslim woman. Often time I see Muslim men who could marry a woman of the book merely toying with her affections and not giving her the respect she deserves because she doesn’t know any better.
You don’t know that he should marry you instead of just have an emotional and sexual relationship outside the bounds of matrimony. Perhaps upon reading that sentence you are thinking.. why should I care if he marries me or not before we have a physical relationship? Its ok.. if things don’t work out we can just both walk away from the relationship.
Maybe its enough that he gives you physical affection and buys you nice things? Tells you that your pretty or sexy even wearing clothes he would never let his sister leave the house in or would look down on another woman wearing if she didn’t happen to be you?
Drinks and parties the nights away with you, willingly moves and lives with you and yet he never speaks of a future involving marriage?
You never have met his family, childhood friends.. or perhaps you have met only a select few.. who are “liberal” enough to understand because his family and certain friends would never approve of you or what he is doing by being involved with you.
Because he doesn’t see you as the mother of his children.
Maybe you don’t know what respect he should be showing you.. or perhaps you do but think its old-fashioned? out dated? Is chivalry out dated? I don’t think so.
But I do think its unfair to be in a relationship and not fully understand the standards and rules your partner should be adhering to or half way adheres to.
I just don’t want you to be hurt at the end of the day when he leaves you to marry a woman who is Muslim and practicing or divorces you seeking what he wants later.. after you invest time, energy, emotions and maybe even had kids.
So I just want to ask women who date self professed Muslim men – to really research and understand the rules he is playing by.. so you don’t end up getting played.
Your concerned sister