So a few weeks ago a good friend of mine and her husband suggested something that I thought.. hmm those really exist? A professional match making service. I was shocked to find that this actually existed for Muslims. All I know about match making services is what I have seen on TV with that Millionaire Matchmaking Service – which seemed more about money, sex and looks than real true compatibility.
I don’t really know if coughing up the $$$ for a match making service is really going to find me some one.
I have found in my now 10 – 11 month search that it isn’t just about having the same interests, hobbies, friends, being centrally located to each other or eating the same food. Its also about what you bring to the relationship in terms of your personality and emotional wholeness. I am ok with being by myself – in fact I rather enjoy being by myself with a book or watching a movie. I have no qualms about traveling alone or eating in a restaurant alone. This I think is key – the people going into the relationship have to be whole individuals on their own – so they can create something greater together.
If one person is always clinging to the other in an attempt to make themselves whole – it gets tiring really quickly and rather annoying because you can’t just be by yourself. Everything has to be done together and quite frankly – I have never been one of those joined at the hip types. I figure if I want to have my girls over – then its the perfect time to kick the potential hubby out – so he can have guys night or go to the masjid for the lecture he has wanted to listen to, go fishing etc..
I also am not hung up on age – ok if your 50 and trying to marry me – that is an issue because of the obvious generational gap but 37 or 40 isn’t going to phase me. I am more worried about how intellectually stimulating you are than your age and if you make me laugh.
I also am not concerned if your a wealthy man because all wealth belongs to Allah. I am concerned if your able to support a family and well my mom is concerned that you can afford health insurance.
I am also no longer concerned with looks. I have no time for men who spend more time in the bathroom than I do and who think good looks allows them to get away with bad manners and being rude or thinking every woman should cater to their every whim. If I think your cute – that’s all that really matters.
After the whole mean Misri incident – I had decided to take a break from this whole hubby hunt business but you know.. Allah has a sense of humor – so we shall see – as Allah is the best planner.