If only

If only my heart bled like my lips do when I chew them

maybe more people would notice the pain I am in

behind the smiles and salaams there is an emptiness

I swallow – attempting to drown myself in an ecstasy of  your mercy

Floating barely

I am lost  in a state constant – at a loss of my lack of surrender to you

Like an photograph over exposed several times – I am seeking pigment to give myself meaning

In connecting with others, my deficits are only reflected and magnified back to me.

Only in you do I find partial solace

Only having a partner I will suffer in a delicious agony fully

At your service