Allah is the best planner.. but I swing back and forth between between idle day dreams and reality of what I think I want. I sometimes tell myself I won’t put my life on hold to find the other half of my Deen and then I retract that when I think perhaps I have found a likely candidate. I get all caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new.. and forget.. what other plans I have on the stove simmering.
I would love to share the adventure of things like Peace Corps.. or just moving to a new country with someone else but if I marry someone now the likelihood is very low. Still I question should I pack that ambition away in the face of all the other things I want to InshaAllah achieve..?
I don’t know. I think maybe yes.. other times no.. just because my arms feel empty in the darkest hours of the night and I would love to have someone’s hand to grab when I walk down the street just because I can.
It would also be nice to have someone who’s eye I could catch right in the middle of the Jummah khutbah when the littlest kids are running around crazed with sugar highs and just smile.. in a shared moment of secret humor.
I know marriage is hard work.. but I look forward to it but I also look forward to the other adventures in life. Sigh.
I wonder how I can combine the two? I guess it kind of depends on the profession of my spouse. So I better start looking for someone who works with Doctors with out Borders or maybe a journalist? Or an activist? I don’t know!
Any suggestions on how to combine my life’s ambitions??? Leave a comment if you do.