Doubts about not putting my life on hold to find Mr. Right

Allah is the best planner.. but I swing back and forth between between idle day dreams and reality of what I think I want.  I sometimes tell myself I won’t put my life on hold to find the other half of my Deen and then I retract that when I think perhaps I have found a likely candidate.  I get all caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new.. and forget.. what other plans I have on the stove simmering.

I would love to share the adventure of things like Peace Corps.. or just moving to a new country with someone else but if I marry someone now the likelihood is very low.  Still I question should I pack that ambition away in the face of all the other things I want to InshaAllah achieve..?

I don’t know.  I think maybe yes.. other times no.. just because my arms feel empty in the darkest hours of the night and I would love to have someone’s hand to grab when I walk down the street just because I can.

It would also be nice to have someone who’s eye I could catch right in the middle of the Jummah khutbah when the littlest kids are running around crazed with sugar highs and just smile.. in a shared moment of secret humor.

I know marriage is hard work.. but I look forward to it but I also look forward to the other adventures in life. Sigh.

I wonder how I can combine the two?  I guess it kind of depends on the profession of my spouse.  So I better start looking for someone who works with Doctors with out Borders or maybe a journalist?  Or an activist? I don’t know!

Any suggestions on how to combine my life’s ambitions???  Leave a comment if you do.

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One thought on “Doubts about not putting my life on hold to find Mr. Right

  1. I’ve enjoyed your blog entries. I wanted to comment on this one because I’ve a little experience in this. When I was 27, I’d been out of college for four years, risen quickly in the IT field but I felt souldead. I hated the work, the meaninglessness of it. I left it all behind, went to grad school, worked in archaeology and forensic anthropology. I did things that stimulated me and actually had meaning.

    10 years later, however, I’ve had an amazing life, but no one to share it with. When you move every 6 months, that makes relationships tough prospects. I don’t regret my choices. I’ve been blessed with extraordinary experiences–but I think I might have been even happier if I’d taken someone I loved on those adventures.

    Make dua and trust in your heart. Salaam.

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