Man oh man. It seems like the weekend was a lifetime ago and I was another person three days ago. Seriously.. time slips through my fingers like sand. Where did the weekend go?
Was it only a few months ago- that I had what seemed like all the time in the world to get things done?
I was able to attend Jummah at the masjid every Friday- no problem. Chores around the house were a snap.
I had my GRE books and I was looking for a tutor to take me through the math section. As I am woefully unable to do math.. doesn’t matter what level it is. I have no issue with the vocabulary section- I foresee kicking butt in that area with minimal study. Have I done anything than look at the books on my shelf since getting this job? Nope. Sad really.
I mean the job has been a roller coaster of a ride. First I was teaching out in the middle schools and then a high school before having that “privilege” yanked and other various craziness with my boss flipping out because I got sick with the flu- which was most likely H1N1- but I will never admit to having “onik onik” flu as I call it.
After recovering from that I had more drama with a friend introducing me to another friend in an effort to remove me from the Marriage Mart shelves. This would be my second attempt at the whole “Husband Hunt” as my girl friends and I call it. It was within the first meeting I knew it wouldn’t work.. why you might be wondering? Well the first tip off was his lack of ability to hold a conversation. I mean it is awkward to meet with a chaperon.. but still.. don’t be a dead fish. Really.. whats a girl supposed to do? Bring little note cards with various topics to get things started?!
Me being me.. I decided.. not to torture myself but to be generous and nice.. to meet this guy a second, third and fourth time in the space of two weeks to see if maybe- just maybe this guy improved with time.
What was I thinking? I should smack myself for being so naive to think things would improve over time.
Our second meeting went something like this.. I get lost and go to the wrong cafe location of this well known french cafe chain in SF and then have to drive across the city to the other location. I get there and then – lets just call him- “The Beard”- decides to have a hissy fit because I try to pay for my drink and pastry. So we spend an hour discussing money and who should pay or not pay depending on the situation.
Soon after in an effort to sweep me off my feet- The Beard suggests that we write up the marriage contract and sign it so we could be mahram to each other. Umm.. I don’t know about you.. but I was like WTF- No Pressure- Right.. seriously?! I have met you twice and even Speed Racer doesn’t move this fast. Wow.. yeah sure.. lets get married- we have only known each other for two days. I think not.
While being pursued can be very attractive to a woman- it needs to be done in the right way. I felt I was being bulldozed into a marriage and it was HIGHLY unattractive.
So being the born and bred Midwest gal.. I did what I know certain farm animals do when being pushed around.. I dug in my heels and pulled back- mind you in an Islamic manner.
I threw the book at him so to speak- first the Qur’an, then the Hadith and then Muhammad Mustafa Al Jibaly- Series on Family- specifically the book on Marriage. I noticed while “The Beard” could read and speak Arabic- his Islamic knowledge was very basic. I asked him,” So since this legally would make me your wife.. what do we do if it doesn’t work out between us?” He said just tear up the contract. This was highly disturbing to me since…he also said.. well it isn’t like its a legal marriage. It was obvious he put more weight in Common Law than Islamic Law.
As Muslims we obey the Common law of the land we live in but our Sharia is of higher value that Common Law is- at least in my humble opinion. I also wasn’t happy with always being excused for not being Arab.. its ok.. your not Arab.. if you were Arab you would know.. and it just plain ticked me off to always be seen as second rate because I am American and not an Arab.
So Alhumdualillah- after a 5 hour picnic.. which lasted 5 hours because 4 1/2 hours were spent explaining why it wouldn’t work out between us- I had dumped my first marriage prospect ever. Whew.. it was like a weight off my chest- no my soul.
I learned many things from this 1. I know now how to judge attraction for a guy 2. I have learned how to bake a quiche 3. I know it takes me a while to get up the nerve to dump someone and finally 4. I want a picture before I meet the person.
Soon the job continued to heat up with more drama- rolling out the many internet access points and learning how to make Youtube videos just to name a small drop in the bucket of what I do. Now I spend all day trapped in an office building with no windows that open- not enough windows and to much florescent lighting. For a while it felt like I couldn’t put a foot right and then we had this huge meeting and it was like the steam was relieved from a pressure cooker.
And to day I had my monthly check in and Alhumdualillah- it was very positive. I wonder where this journey will land me.